Being a parent is demanding under the best of circumstances, but when a cancer diagnosis enters the picture, the challenges can feel insurmountable. Parents facing cancer must juggle treatment, work, and everyday activities while trying to maintain a sense of normalcy for their children. There are many difficulties parents encounter during cancer treatment. Male breast cancer advocacy group, His Breast Cancer, has curated advice on how to continue to parent effectively through this trying time.
The Emotional and Physical Toll
Diagnosis and Treatment
A cancer diagnosis brings an array of emotions—fear, uncertainty, and anxiety about the future. Physically, the effects of cancer and its treatments can be exhausting. Chemotherapy, radiation, and surgery often lead to fatigue, pain, and other debilitating side effects, making it hard to keep up with the energetic demands of parenting.
Guilt and Worry
Parents with cancer frequently experience guilt and worry. They might feel guilty for not being able to participate in their children’s activities or for the increased responsibilities placed on their partner or other family members. Additionally, there’s a profound worry about the impact of their illness on their children’s emotional well-being.
Balancing Treatment and Parenting
Communication
Open and age-appropriate communication with children is crucial. Explaining the situation to children in a way they can understand helps alleviate their fears. Simple, honest language and encouraging questions can make them feel more secure. Books and resources specifically designed for children can help explain cancer.
Routines and Stability
Maintaining routines provides children with a sense of stability. Despite the challenges, keeping regular meals, homework, and bedtime schedules can help children feel secure. Enlisting the help of family and friends to support these routines can be beneficial.
Self-Care
Parents need to prioritize self-care to manage their own well-being. This includes adhering to treatment plans, attending all medical appointments, and resting when necessary. Taking care of oneself is not selfish; it’s essential for effectively caring for one’s children.
Navigating Work and Other Activities
Work Adjustments
Balancing work with cancer treatment and parenting can be overwhelming. Speaking with employers about flexible work arrangements, such as reduced hours or working from home, can ease the burden. Many employers are supportive and willing to make accommodations during this difficult time.
Financial Concerns
Cancer treatment can be financially draining. Parents should not hesitate to seek financial assistance programs through their medical providers, non-profits, or community resources. Financial planners who specialize in healthcare can also provide valuable advice on managing expenses.
Delegating Responsibilities
Parents need to accept help from others. Delegating tasks, whether it’s household chores, driving children to activities, or even running errands, can alleviate some of the pressure. Friends and family are often eager to help but may not know how; don’t hesitate to be specific about your needs.
Supporting Children Emotionally
Emotional Honesty
Children are perceptive and can sense when something is wrong. Being emotionally honest with them helps build trust. Share feelings in a way that is appropriate for their age and maturity level, and reassure them that it’s okay to feel scared or sad.
Therapeutic Support
Professional support, such as therapy or counseling, can benefit both parents and children. Therapists specializing in family or child psychology can provide coping strategies and emotional support tailored to the family’s needs.
Creating Special Moments
Despite the challenges, it is important to create special moments with your children. Simple activities like reading together, playing games, or watching a favorite movie can strengthen bonds and provide much-needed joy and relaxation.
Advice for Parents Going Through Cancer
1. Build a Support Network
Lean on family, friends, and community resources. Joining support groups for cancer parents can provide camaraderie and practical advice from those who understand your situation.
2. Educate Yourself and Your Family
Understanding your illness and treatment options can empower you and your family. Knowledge helps reduce fear and uncertainty, making it easier to make informed decisions about your care.
3. Stay Connected with Your Medical Team
Keep open lines of communication with your healthcare providers. They can offer guidance on managing side effects and maintaining your health, allowing you to better care for your family.
4. Focus on What You Can Control
Accept that some days will be harder than others and that it’s okay to prioritize your health. Focus on small, manageable tasks and celebrate each accomplishment, no matter how minor it may seem.
5. Seek Professional Help When Needed
Don’t hesitate to seek professional help for both you and your children. Therapists, social workers, and financial advisors can provide invaluable support during this time.
Parenting with cancer is undoubtedly challenging, but with the right strategies and support, it is possible to navigate this difficult journey. By maintaining open communication, seeking help, and prioritizing self-care, parents can continue to provide love and stability for their children, even in the face of cancer.
